A Little Peeved

I'm just a bit peeved at the moment. I probably shouldn't be but I am. You see I was expecting a Brodie free weekend with him attending a Stake Young Men's Camp with all the Young Men from Church attending. I thought that he was looking forward to going & having loads of fun with everyone there. He knows quite a lot of the kids from when he's gone on other camps with them.

Brodie informed me a short time ago, when I asked him if he had finished packing, that he was NOT going. He couldn't even give me a valid reason as to why he doesn't want to attend. I've got this feeling that he really should go but I don't want to push him and make him do it. I know that there is a real possibility that it could backfire big time and he would lash out at us.

I went and spoke with Mark telling him of Brodie's decision & what I had said to Brodie about his not going. I fully expected Brodie to say that he would rather attend camp when I told him his options. His options were A) to attend the YM camp or B) complete reading his English novel and complete the 3 pages of tasks that he has had ALL holidays (5 weeks so far) to do by Tuesday morning.

Now what kid would honestly choose to do the work?? It seems that Brodie would.
Oh and the other thing that I thought would change his mind .. NO laptop until all of the English work is done!! I told him that the laptop would go into my room until the work is complete.

I guess I made some sort of incentive to get the work done. Brodie is now out of the bedroom (where he has been hibernating since his laptop got fixed) he is OFF the laptop and is actually answering the questions for his assignment. Although he is getting distracted by the TV & the news. At least he is getting the work done & he really only has 1 week left to finish it. School goes back on Feb 1st.

Young Men's

Surprise Surprise! For the first time in months I took Angus to Young Men's last night. Brodie didn't go because he was feeling unwell. I wouldn't let him go actually because he phoned his Home Teaching companion to say he was too unwell to go with him last night so I wouldn't let him go to YM's either.

I surprised myself by going. I so desperately wanted to stay home. I just don't do well going out of the home any more. Not unless its is for Church or to the supermarket. At least I got out of the house I suppose.

Angus seemed to enjoy it. With new YM's leaders at least the kids don't just play sport now. They actually learn something. I used to think that driving an 80km round trip was a long way to go for the kids to only play sports. Last night the kids were learning about tying knots. I wasn't watching them but they sounded like they were having fun.

The Paediatrician, Our Bishop & Disability Services

I meant to write about this the other day but hadn't gotten around to it. I took Brodie to see the paediatrician last week for a check up and for him to fill in some forms for Centrelink. Anyway while we were there Michael said that Brodie has made some fantastic changes over the past few years. All in a positive way. It made me feel good to know that things for Brodie are moving in the right direction and that people can see the differences.

Yesterday while at Church our Bishop asked to see me. Mostly to for our tithing settlement but he wanted to catch up too because he hadn't seen me much for a while. That's mostly because I haven't always been well enough to go each week. Bishop mentioned that he had spoken with the Young Men's President about Brodie, well all the kids really, but he said how they both thought Brodie has come a long way since they first met him back in 2006.

Bishop explained that he is able to have a decent conversation with Brodie now without him getting angry & frustrated. He also stated that when he first met him it was easier to talk to a brick wall (to be honest I used to think that way about the boys father).

He also said that I have done a wonderful job in raising both boys. Of course I said it was a team effort and that there have been a lot of people involved and it has been a lot of hard work on everyone's part. I did remember to say thank you :)

I know I have said this already but it sure is good to know that people can see the huge difference in Brodie. They can see that he is a wonderful kid & he is able to show it. I must tell Brodie that there are so many people out there that can see how he has changed for the better. I just hope that he is able to show that at home more. Maybe he will once he knows what others think.

One last thing. I got a phone call from the Dept. of Human Services - Disability Services on Friday morning. We had put in an application with them back in January of this year and had our first interview with them at the same time. They were to review our case and contact various other agencies we had been in contact with to see if we qualified for their assistance. So here it is almost 6 months down the track and our application has finally been approved as of last Thursday. Of course once Brodie was accepted as a 'client' he will receive their assistance for life. I am so grateful that it was approved. Not that I didn't think we would be knocked back or anything but its so nice to get some good news.

Home Alone

I can't believe it. Here it is Saturday morning and there is no one home with me right now. It's so quiet. I love it!

The boys have gone off to Dark Zone where they play Laser tag. It's a treat for the Youth from Church. Angus was so excited about going. He goes into Young Men's this week and he was thrilled to have been included in today's activity. He can't wait until tomorrow~ he turns 12!! I don't want my baby to grow up but he is so looking forward to being 12. Especially with High School next year and being able to become a Deacon. I guess I would be just as excited if I were him!

Mark has gone out with our neighbour. It's their pay day today. I'm not sure when they will be back but I am enjoying this quiet time while it lasts.

What a Slacker!

I am so slack for not writing on this blog more frequently. I have no excuse really other than I forget to. Oh well. I'll try and make up some time now and fill you in a little with what's been going on here.

Week four of Term 4 is now over. Angus is getting excited about starting High School next year. We got some information about the orientation day coming up in December, well its more like orientation week. He gets to have one day at his High School and then two days at his brothers school. He'll be catching the bus with Brodie. I'm not too keen on the idea but Angus really wants to do it so I wont be the meanie and stop him. I just hope that Brodie behaves on the bus with him and doesn't show off more than he normally does.

We had Brodie's travelling teacher come and visit us last Tuesday night and she spent some time on Tuesday and Wednesday at school with him. It was good that she could come with us to the Chapel and see how things are for Brodie when he goes to Young Men's. I'm not too sure what she thought of it all but it definitely was a good thing. I know that its one of the best things we can do for both of the boys. I make sure that we don't miss Tuesday nights. They both need to attend and participate in these activities.

I only have one complaint about Tuesday night activities. They are NOT organised very well. The Young Men seem to only play games and they don't seem to learn anything. I thought that the aims and objectives of YM's was to help guide these boys and to help the become more responsible young adults. Another Mum from our ward has a boy Angus's age and both he and Angus will be going into YM at the end of the year. We were thinking that we need to talk with the YM's leader and see if they are going to become more organised. I would hate for Angus and the other young kids to miss out on some really good spiritual activities and lessons because the leaders weren't following the YM program properly. I'm thinking I need to check out the Church website more carefully to see what they really should be doing.

Oh before I forget and get side tracked again. Angus's school participated in their first Chess Tournament. The school came fourth. There were 8 schools in all. Angus got a certificate for being in the top 25% of the competitors. He was so excited. He managed to get a score of 4.5 out of 7. The over all winner got 6.5. They did very well for their first ever tournament. WTG kids!

Last weekend I took Angus to the movies as a treat. He deserved to have some time away from Brodie. We went to see Journey to the Centre of the Earth. Gee it was good. I loved it and so did Angus. He wants me to get it on DVD when we get the chance. I think we will too, it's certainly one movie I would really like to see it again.

Earlier this week I lost my keycard. I searched high and low for it. I even went to the petrol station knowing that was the last place I used it. They didn't find it but I reckon they did and threw it away. I phoned my bank on Monday afternoon to let them know what had happened and cancelled the card. Thankfully they said it hadn't been used since I was at the petrol station on Friday. I organised a new card and had to play the waiting game to get that sent out with the activation code and the new pin number. Only trouble is I don't have a local bank to go to here. I had to travel all the way to Narre Warren to get money out. So while I was there I changed my bank account to a pensioner one which means that I wont get charged as many fees now for having so little money in the bank. I think the account keeping fee is stopped now. I guess I will find out soon enough. I've received my new keycard and activation code but I am still waiting for the pin number. I hope I get it early next week as I have almost run out of cash. I've never lost a card before and sheesh it is a big hassle to get it replaced. Well not as much of a hassle as it could have been.

A Light At The End Of The Tunnel

Here it is week three of term 4 already. I can't believe how quickly the time has gone. Golly gosh we have had some more ups and downs this past fortnight. I keep wondering when the roller coaster ride will stop but I am not sure that it ever will!

So far so good for Brodie at school this term. I've not had any phone calls from the high school so that is a very good thing. I swear though he holds it together at school and keeps the naughtiness for when he gets home. He's been swearing like a trooper over the past few weeks and its just been horrible. Brodie still blames everyone else for his behaviour and wont take ownership of the problem.
Dang and here I was thinking how good things were with no phone calls from the school. I just got an email in regards to Brodie's behaviour on the bus. Looks like I can't win lol. Now I need to deal with the comments he made on the bus .. the little rat bag!! He needs his butt kicked!!

Now where was I ... I went to see Latrobe Community Health Services yesterday. After all the phone calls I had made recently to Commonwealth Carers, Anglicare, Human Services, etc I had finally been able to talk to someone in regards to getting some respite. I keep saying how our family is broken and it needs fixing. We certainly need a break from one another. Any way. I went to a meeting yesterday morning. It looks like I might be entitled to a little of help. I was told the proper terminology for it but basically its comes in small pieces I guess you could say. My case manager will be organising with the shire to send someone around to assess our situation in the hopes of getting some respite through them and possibly getting a cleaner to come around and help. I don't truly expect to get the cleaner but I welcome the idea of having someone look after Brodie for a bit while Angus and I can go out or something along those lines.

I was given some fuel vouchers so that I can go along to applique which is really good because I have missed going to that since the night it is held had been changed from a Tuesday to a Wednesday. Also, I was given some cinema tickets so I can go out without the boys if I want to. To be honest I was thinking that it might be nice to take Angus to the cinema because Brodie gets all sorts of things given to him, he goes on sleep overs etc and Angus doesn't. He deserves to have a treat now and then. Brodie was NOT impressed when I mentioned the possibility of taking Angus out and not him. He tends to forget all that is sone for him and how blessed he is with what he receives from others.

This morning I received a phone call from our Travelling Teacher from Mansfield. She will be coming for a visit next week spending some time at the High School with Brodie and then coming with us to Young Men's and Young Achievers. She will also visit the school on Wednesday morning before I go up to the school to collect Brodie so I can take him to his dentist appointment.

Even thought we have been having an awful time at home there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The fact that we are now beginning to receive some assistance is wonderful. I just hope that things at home will improve and then life would feel so much better.

Our Stake's Pioneer Trek

This is what I wrote in an email to my Spirit Sister the day Brodie left for Trek.

Brodie left for the Pioneer Trek this afternoon. He and Cal are brothers on the trip and will be in the same family group. Cal is, I guess you could say, his new best friend. Don't the kids look great! In fact he and Cal get along so well it's truly beautiful to see. They are almost like double trouble!! (well maybe not).

The best thing about this family group is that the Ma and Pa are a Bishop and his wife. I know Brodie will be in good hands with them. And Brodie is more likely to listen especially since Pa is a Bishop. He has more respect for Bishops than other people, not that he should be disrespectful if you know what I mean.

I was talking to one of the members from another ward while I was there. She said her Mum's ward had just done the trek. They had taken some baby dolls along with them and they passed away on the journey. She said that all the kids, including the boys, were bawling their eyes out.
I was then told that there will be younger children joining the Trek and these children will 'pass away' too. They will have family members coming along to collect them as the little ones wont be able to cope with all the walking and the hardship.

Some of the stories I heard about previous treks would make some kids think twice about going. I was told that there was a family that had a limited amount of food for a meal, such as a packet of nuts for lunch. One family had nothing for dinner but the other families rallied around and shared what they had. Matt, who is in our ward (he's sitting down in the pictures - the one without the hat) said that his family had the most and nest meal that night while on the trek.

I know that Heavenly Father will look after all of the kids and the Ma's & Pa's, plus all the ancillary people who are helping out. He certainly wont give them more than they can take but I know he will make it an experience to remember and that they will be able to get the full experience like the Pioneers did. I just hope that Brodie will be on his best behaviour.

Another thing about Cal - our Bishop told me that Cal asked the organisers to be placed in the same family as Brodie. I guess that he had been prompted to ask. Cal will be able to help keep Brodie focussed and encourage him to do his best.

Finally Some Peace & Quiet

Boy it is freezing outside! When I got up this morning at 6 am it was 3C but it soon dropped to 2C by 7 am (a little over 32F but not by much). I just checked the temperature again and now that the sun is out it's jumped to 5C. Now I know I am not a winter person nor a summer one for that matter but sheesh it's only autumn and it's freezing!!
Considering how cold it is it's no surprise that there is snow on Mt Baw Baw (90km away up the mountain from where I live) they are hoping for a bumper snow season which is still 10 weeks away.

I guess you might be wondering why I was up so early (or not lol) considering it is school holidays at the moment. You see Brodie is going on camp! Well he's gone already. I had to drop him off at a Church members home near Buln Buln. He was so excited about going. I just hope that he stays warm enough, behaves for the Young Men's leaders and takes his medication when he is supposed to.

Angus was so excited about Brodie going on camp. I must admit that I was looking forward to it too. It's only an over-night one but it's a break for us nonetheless. I was so tired of Brodie barking orders to Angus and talking down to everyone that I honestly don't know how much longer it would've been before I snapped. He truly tests my patience sometimes.

So for now we finally have some peace and quiet. At least until tomorrow night when Brodie comes home. I am going to enjoy this while I can!

What a Week .. ..

I cannot believe the week I have had and it isn't even over yet!! Goodness let's hope the rest of the week (and the weekend) is uneventful!!

Monday was relatively normal, thank goodness. I can't remember too much of what happened so it must have been a good day rofl.

On Tuesday however the sh*t hit the fan. Brodie had an appointment scheduled for the afternoon at Monash Medical Centre (MMC) in Clayton. We decided to keep him home to make things easier on us (and the car) so we didn't have to travel an extra 40 kilometres. All we really had to do was take Angus to school and then wait until it was time to leave and head off to the MMC.

Well it wasn't that easy and why would it be where the boys are concerned!! You see the boys started off with a water fight with their drink bottles - indoors no less!! I asked them to clean up the water. So Brodie got the mop to start cleaning up. I then told Brodie (and Angus too) that I did not appreciate what they had done. Well I am guessing I said the wrong thing. Next thing I know is Brodie is throwing the mop onto the floor in a huff. I told him to pick it up to which he then told me to shove the mop up my a**e! So of course I ask him to pick it up again and he repeats the exact same words only much louder this time!! I then told him that he would NOT be going to Young Men's tonight as he didn't deserve to go. Of course he said the exact same thing a third time.

Next thing I know Mark comes inside, he was out the back in the shed, Brodie runs our the front door. Mark heads closer to Brodie. Brodie is holding the front door beginning to mouth off at Mark. He waits until Mark gets closer and begins to flee outside but before he does that he pushes Mark up against the wardrobe that sits near the front door. Mark holds out his walking stick to keep the security door open and its almost as if Brodie is waiting for Mark to come closer and he slams the door on him breaking the walking stick in the process. Brodie is swearing and carrying on during the whole thing!

I don't remember exactly what happened with Mark but I went out the front door after Brodie. He's still swearing at me. I reached out to grab him to try and stop him from running off. It didn't work and he takes a tumble on the concrete and disappears out of the driveway. I decide it's not worth trying to chase him and I check on Mark and Angus.
Poor Angus us terrified by this time. And that isn't unusual in itself. He tells me later on as I am driving him to school that there isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't at some point feel scared of Brodie.

Anyway I phone up MMC and reschedule Brodie's appointment, which is now in March. There is no way that Mark and I are now prepared to take him on such a long drive towards the city when he is in such a horrid mood and with such feral behaviour. I also phoned GCAMHS and of course no one is there. I then phone triage and while I am talking to them GCAMHS phone back. They weren't much help I'm sorry to say. In the end after I get back from taking Angus to school I just tell Brodie that he is going to school after all. I will NOT have him home at all after this episode! Needless to say that by 10:30 am he was at school. I hope there are No more meltdowns like that one for a long time if ever again.

And that was just Tuesday morning!! Now for the rest of the day... ... ... I was not having a very good time for a while. I felt awfully down in the dumps. Mark's back was hurting a lot due to being thrown/pushed into the corner of the wardrobe. Since I took Angus to school and was back in town after 9 am I went straight to the chemist and bought some codeine tablets and a walking stick to replace the one Brodie broke (and the cost of this will be coming out of his points!!). After I dropped Brodie off at school I went to Aldi to do some grocery shopping.

Poor Mark's back was hurting him ALL day. Even more than it normally does which I was not surprised with because of the force Brodie used. He took several codeine and a valium. It took the edge of a little but not much. Later in the evening after dinner he took some more and an ibuprofen and went out into the shed to talk with his brother on the phone. I went out to check on him and though that he had been crying as his eyes were all puffy and red looking. Mark came indoors to check on his eyes. This was around 9:30ish. I kept an eye on Mark and noticed that his eyes were becoming puffier. So at around 10:15, after trying to see if this new clinic in town had a locum that would come out to the house but they closed at 10 pm, we left for the hospital.

Mark initially wanted to go to bed and see if sleeping it off would help. I am so glad that he didn't. We knew of course that he was having an allergic reaction to the ibuprofen and told the triage/admin nurse when we got to the hospital at 10:30. While we were waiting to see the doctor Mark's symptoms got worse. Not only were his eyes puffy still his top lip was swelling and beginning to tingle. They then took Mark to a cubicle. He has had some phenergan when we got there to see if that helped (almost for got that bit) but it didn't. They then placed a shunt in his arm and gave him 100mg of hydro-cortisone and we waited to see if that helped. That was around 11 pm I think. Finally by 1:30 am Marks' eyes had started too look almost normal, his lips stopped tingling and he was feeling much better. It was only then that they allowed us to leave.

I am so glad that on Tuesday morning while making all these phone calls that I made one to our Dr's clinic to make an appointment for Mark. Not only will we talk to the doctor about what we originally wanted to see him for we now will need to talk to him about getting mark to an allergist and about organising an epipen. Mark has several allergies (Tegretol, bees and now ibuprofen - not to forget some washing powders and mangoes) which are life threatening. I just don't want to risk anything anymore and the sooner we can get the epipen the better .

I was going to add more but I think I have typed enough for now. Maybe tomorrow I'll add some more. Especially after the PSG at the High School.

I'm a Soccer Mum!!

I cannot believe it. I am a "Soccer Mum!!" On Saturday I took Angus to the local soccer club to sign him up. He is so excited about finally being able to play sport and he hasn't even started training yet. This was just a sign up to fill in all the paperwork that you can and for the club to get an idea on how many people will be playing so that they can work out teams, training, etc.

From what we were told his training may start on Feb 28th (a Thursday) which thankfully wont interfere with Young Men's and Young Achievers, not to mention my applique. Not that the boys have been going yet due to the head gasket being gone on the car. I just don't feel comfortable in taking the boys all the way to the Chapel when the car isn't working well. What would I do if something goes wrong & Mark isn't with me?

The first game isn't until April 12th. Let's hope that I will be able to get all the necessary sports uniform for Angus by then. He's meant to have shin guards, boots, shorts and club strips (or some such thing which the club supplies).

We need to supply a copy of Angus's birth certificate and a photo for his ID card. So I will need to take Angus to the chemist and get some passport photos done. At least they are cheap enough to get. Then I suppose that we should look into getting his sports gear. Between that and his camp, which I am paying off, he's an expensive kid!!

School Excursion & Other Stuff

Angus and I went on an excursion this morning. We went to the cinemas to see "Bee Movie" it was really good for a kids movie. There were a few things that were went over the top of the kids heads but that is normal for some movies I guess. When I asked Angus what was his favourite part he said all of it.

Brodie had the day off school yesterday because the teachers had a pupil free day to write their reports. Gee whiz we never had a day of school when I was working in Adelaide and I know that I never had the day off school when I was in High School. The teachers had to do the reports in their own time. I think they have it too easy here!!
Anyway while Brodie is home he has to do some, lets just say, medical tests for the paediatrician. Brodie would freak if I had to put what the tests were on my blog so I wont say what they are. He had to stay home today as well so that we can complete the tests. He had to have a blood test this morning though. He squeezed the dickens out of my hand. He has such a phobia about needles but he did very well.Thankfully the nurse got the vein first time round. I don't think he would've been able to cope if she didn't.

It's applique tonight. So far so good as for me wanting to to. It's also Angus's Young Achievers night, the last one for the year. I don't think he would be too happy if he couldn't go but he still has to make sure his room is tidy or he will be staying home!! Also on tonight is choir practise for Relief Society. It's a special enrichment activity coming up on Saturday and they want some of the sisters to join the choir and to practise a few Christmas carols for Saturday. I said I would join in because I'll be at the chapel any way tonight (provided the boys room is cleaned up!).
Brodie's activity isn't on tonight because they are playing basketball this coming weekend and he will be doing that instead. So perhaps after choir and young achievers I'll make it to applique for a little while.

Oh and with the enrichment activity, we are meant to be showing off our quilts that we have made this year. I have Diva's one, my Christmas one and if I remember my cat table runner as it was the first thing I made.

My Week So Far & my new toy!

What a busy week it's been. I think now that the boys are back at school I have been busier than when they were both home for two weeks of their holidays.

I'm still waiting for my sewing machine to be fixed but I'm not too worried about that now. I got some 'bonus' money from the government as part of a carers payment that I receive on Brodie's behalf. So Mark and I went to do some shopping. Firstly to check out all the Op Shops in town (and the next town) but we went into Gippstitch too. While we were there we were checking out the sewing machines. To be honest I was waiting to go to Spotlight to check out the ones they had one sale there but I just wanted to check out Gippstitch. Anyway to cut a long story short I ended up getting a Husqvarna Viking - Huskystar C20. It's amazing. It can almost sew on its own. Well with some of the stitches it does. The boys were so impressed that it can embroider names. I let them embroider their surname on some of their school shirts. They thought it was so cool!! I can't wait to get started on some more sewing.
I was going to do some today but I realised that I didn't have any tracing paper large enough to trace the pattern for the boxer shorts I want to make the boys. I guess I will have to wait just a little bit longer.
I am so impressed with this new machine. It really is a good one and we definitely got a bargain as I have been checking out the prices on them. We saved around $250 - $300.

With school going back this week so did the Church activities for the boys. Young Men's started back with the game of 'Punishment' its basically a game where if you do something wrong you get tennis balls thrown at you by everyone. They do not hold back at all when they play this and I truthfully do not like the fact that they can get hit in the head. Thankfully Brodie took his helmet but I was told that he still copped a few about the head. It worries me so much because of his epilepsy. He's not had a seizure for a year now and I want to keep it that way!!
While Brodie is at the Chapel I go off to applique. I was telling the girls about my new machine (which I picked up on Wednesday the day after applique).

Angus's school had a pupil free day yesterday and he and another boy in his class went to a workshop to do with reading and getting boys into reading more books. There was also a session last night that Mark took Angus too. I think Angus thought there were two great things about last night. The fact that he got 4 new books to read he also got to ride on the back of Mark's motorbike. He said he was scared to bits but he was excited. He even told me this morning that he would love to do it again even though he was scared. I know he loved it and I know Brodie is a bit jealous but hey Brodie gets much more than Angus does and I think it's about time that Angus got something that Brodie didn't! It's only fair!

Tomorrow is Angus's Primary Schools 125th Birthday celebrations. It should be a good day but the weather forecast may be a big downer though. It's awfully cold and wet today and tomorrow is meant to be the same. I just hope that the thunderstorms and hail holds off. We're expecting around 200 people to show up. I'm helping with registrations and clean up plus elsewhere if I am needed.

I better scoot in s couple of minutes. Angus spent the day at Jindi Primary school today and I need to go collect him early and then wait there for Brodie's bus to arrive as his school bus stops there at around 3:30. I bet's he's had a great day visiting there. I know he likes to catch up with some of the kids he's made friends with there over the years.

Staying Home

I was all set to take Brodie to Young Men's tonight and then go to appliqué to show off the quilt but I was told that YM's isn't on tonight. So I am staying home to do some applique here. To be honest I don't fancy going out tonight at any rate. It's way too cold out there and I don't feel up to driving in this wet & cold weather we're having. There is supposed to be a chance of hail also and that is a real turn off for going out. Call me a wet blanket but I would much rather stay home in the warmth plus I've got to get used to getting up early again and I get awfully tired earlier in the evenings now.

It's Nice and Quiet

Its SOOOO quiet at home right now. Mark is out in the shed. The little dude is watching the television and the big fella is out at a young men's activity plus he is having a sleep over.
I think I am going to enjoy the peace and quiet for a while.

Yesterday's Blues

What I day I had yesterday. It sure was one of those kinds where you wish you NEVER got out of bed!!! My day started okay though so I guess that was a small blessing. We had 8 children in Nursery this week. We've been used to having around 4 - 5 so having 8 was super busy! There were two escape artists in the group so we had to keep an extra close watch over them!! They were all still as cute as buttons though. One of the little girls was watching one of the boys he was so distressed because he Daddy left the room so she found his dummy and gave it to him! It was just too cute! The Bishop asked to see the big fella and I after the days meetings. I knew why he wanted to see him but I didn't tell him. I had been preparing him all week for the possibility of his missing out on the camp that the Young Men & Women were going on in January. The Bishop broke it very gently to the big fella explaining that it was for safety reasons that he was unable to go. I had told big fella during the week that it would be because of his lack of maturity and how he doesn't listen to the leaders plus the fact that the camp site is 6 hours from home and that if he stuffed up big time while he was there I don't think I would be really happy about driving that far to collect him!! It would also involve the whole family to come with me too because I wouldn't want to drive the 6 hours by myself! We also spoke about how he has been behaving at Church with the way he speaks to people. We tried to explain to him that he is a Child of God and he needs to treat the other people who are also God's children with respect. But he kept wanting to joke around. It really showed us that he is NOT ready for camp! However he needs to aim for a Young Men's came to be held later on or even aim higher for the next combined camp the following summer! Anyway the big fella was such a rat bag in the Bishops office. Turning around and saying I've heard enough I am leaving now!! He didn't though but it kind of started to set the tone for the rest of the day! When we got home Mark came out to meet us in the driveway (he didn't go to church). He had been cleaning up the boys room and had found a stash of things under bunk bed! Stuff from school like magazines from the library which had the bar codes ripped off, a hole punch (what on earth he needed that for I don't know as we own one!!), a couple of DVDs from the school library and a whole ream of white paper plus a few felt tip pens and Biro's. When we asked the big fella about it he got angry and shouted at both of us. It was his guilty way of attacking us I suppose you could say. He gets really defensive like that when he gets caught out. He was SO angry!! He told us he didn't steal anymore but when we said we would ask the school well he got even angrier!! We let him have a little bit of space and went to the lounge room. I thought he was okay but the little dude came running out saying the big fella says he is going to run away!! I tried to stop him but he took off anyway. I didn't know what to do! I didn't want him to think that I would run off after him every time he runs away. This was the fourth time he had done this already since we moved into town! It was like we were back in Adelaide all over again! He started running away from the age of 7!!!! Mark followed him in the car with the camera and told him that we needed a recent photo for the police in case he doesn't come home! But he went and hid behind some trees saying I'm not listening to you! I gave him a little bit of time, about 10 minutes) and went out in the car. I found him sitting by the police station just a few blocks from home. He refused to talk with me, wouldn't get into the car and when I got out of the car to talk with he he took off again! So I left him there. What else could I do?? So I came home. By now I was becoming more and more stressed and burst into tears. I didn't know what to do! So Mark ended up phoning the people associated with CAMHS. The said to phone the police. So Mark did. It was the last thing we wanted to do but we really had no choice. What if he big fella decided not to come home? He didn't have his medication with him! 24 hours off his tegretol would see him having seizures again. Mark explained the situation and the medical history too. The police said that they would get patrols to look for him.. Mark also phoned the Bishop, the RS president (he got her answering machine) and our Home Teacher. I couldn't even talk on the phone I had been crying so much. I hated feeling like I did, it was just awful! James our Home Teacher must've gotten through to Lesley the RD president and she said that Kym & Steve, a lovely married couple, who are our ward clerk & welfare coordinator were coming out to see me. Soon after these phone calls the big fella came home. He said that a police officer called Benny told him to go home and apologise. Which he did but he thinks that makes this okay. But it isn't okay not by a long shot! We phoned the police to say that an officer called Benny spoke to him and sent him home. By all accounts Benny lives next door to the police station the big fella was sitting at. Like I said he thought that everything was okay by now. He had apologised and thought that was over. Is it the Aspergers side of him that thinks this? I have no idea. At around 5 pm Kym and Steve arrive. I was so glad to see them but I felt sorry also just because they had made the trip out here. It's not a short drive from there place to ours. I did feel better that they had come though and talking things through with Kym helped. And with Steve also. He is a police officer too and was able to shed some light on some things for us. Both Kym and Steve said that it would be a good idea to see an LDS psychologist. The Bishop and I had spoken about it but things were better after we initially mentioned this and nothing ever came of it. I don't think that will be the case any more. Kym said she will talk with Lesley who will talk with the Bishop again and make sure that things start happening. Kym also asked if there was something they could so. I said that I need breaks from the big fella but I don't get them. That Mark and I haven't even been out on a date because we just can't leave the boys home. That I don't trust him to be with too many people because of the way he treats them. I got a blessing before Kym & Steve left. Steve asked me if I wanted one and I said no. He then asked why so I told him that I feel like I don't deserve them. To which he just said then that's when you need one the most!! So I didn't argue. I was so emotionally spent I didn't have the energy to disagree anymore. I still feel at a loss where the big fella is concerned. There I was thinking that things were improving but they weren't ... They were only simmering again before the next explosion! I AM at my wits end. All I could think of for part of the time the big fella was missing was that Dad arrives on Tuesday what is he going to think when he hears of this or what will he think if the big fella doesn't come home??!! I think I need to do a bit more fasting and praying about all of this. It sure wont hurt will it!

Dare I say it? ... I had a quiet weekend!

I don't believe it I've had a relatively quiet weekend. To which right now I think I have jinxed by saying this.

The big fella has hardly been home ALL weekend. He went to a Young Men's activity on Friday night and came home at around 10 p.m. He went out yesterday morning around 10 a.m. to another Young Men's activity and then went to stay with a family from the Church last night.

It has been so peaceful and quiet without the fighting and carry on that normally happens over the weekend. I have really enjoyed the break.

The little dude and I spent some quiet time just talking and watching some DVD's.

We finally caught up with the big fella at the chapel this morning. We ran late today though. It seems that Lily does NOT like having her car door slammed by the little dude and we couldn't shut the door at all. Thankfully Mark was able to ask one of the neighbours up the road for something to do with the bolts in the door and he managed to finish fixing it rather quickly. We just got to the Church as the first hymn was being sung.

The big fella said he didn't get much sleep last night because he had an upset stomach. He didn't look one hundred percent but he said that he didn't want to go home yet so we stayed. Which was good because I didn't want to go home early anyway. I don't have any female friends around home so to spend what little time I have with the sisters at church is better than nothing at all. Even if I don't talk with them much.

I think things went well at church. The boys didn't complain, well only the little dude did because he was hungry but he is always hungry of late. Mark wasn't feeling the best but that seems to be a regular thing with him at the moment. I'm not sure why but he doesn't want to go to the doctor when I suggest it.
Even the ride home was relatively quiet but that was because the big fella fell asleep once we hit the highway. Of course that changed a bit once we got home. Young Mr hothead started raising his voice at everyone and wonders why I got mad at him!! But the little disagreement didn't last long he went to bed for a sleep for a couple of hours. He needed it mister grumpy!!

Let's Catch Up ...

I thought I had better fill you in properly with what's been happening lately.

I spoke to Bishop last week and I wanted to catch up with him briefly today but he wasn't there. But that was okay I spoke to my Home Teachers instead and filled them in with what was happening at home. I didn't expect them to have all the answers but I just thought it wise to let them know what was going on and to see if the Bishop had passed on some of the things we spoke about the week before. I know the Bishop is a very busy man and he didn't have time but that was okay.

I knew I had done the right thing in talking with James and Warren (my Home Teachers). They said that next fast Sunday they will fast and pray with out family for guidance about what we need to do in regards to the big fella.
James also said would I like a blessing. I told him straight out that normally I would say No but not this time. I accepted it gratefully. And do you know what? I felt the spirit for sure. I could feel it in my heart that Heavenly Father was with me and that somehow things would be okay. Not perfect mind you but to some extent manageable.

I also spoke with the Relief Society President, Lesley. It turned out she was looking for me to talk to anyway. She is so caring and understanding, with surprising similarities in her family with all of the kids she and her hubby have. She suggested that perhaps I get a referral from the Bishop for a Church social worker (James also recommended a Church counsellor).

Before I forget the reason Lesley wanted to see me was that she had spoken to the Bishop about getting someone to do the Relief Society newsletter and he recommended me. I said I would love to do it. All they need to do is let me know what has to go in it, etc. So I now have a job (or calling I guess).

Anyway back to my talk with Lesley. She thinks that the big fella needs a change in meds perhaps. Which we had a review for tomorrow yesterday with the paediatrician for both boys. She also seems to think that the current school the big fella is in might not be the best place for him. I have thought the same thing many times but I don't think placing him in another High School will improve things for him that much. However she also said that the public system probably isn't helping him either. I think I agree on that one but private schools are NOT cheap and I doubt we could afford that. In fact I'm struggling now to pay the public school fees let alone the possibility of paying for a private school.

Lesley must've had a chat with the big fella also. She's even offered him a sleep over and he's asked her if he can call her Auntie Lesley. Which I thought was sweet. He absolutely adores her hubby, Rick. So it will be a wonderful thing if they can spend some time with him.

I also managed to talk with the Young Men's president, Andrew, to give him a quick update on things. So at least he can help keep an eye on things and lead the big fella in the right direction. I'm sure that the Bishop with catch up with Andrew soon about what's been going on since he & the Bishop are brothers.

Also the big fella will be going on a Youth activity this coming Friday night and Saturday. I spoke with on of the Youth leaders about it. Letting him know that the big fella was able to go but there was talk about billeting him in the city. Well not quite the city but near enough. I said that if they couldn't find a space for him it was okay. Which in fact did turn out okay because Br. Smith might be travelling back and forth for the activities anyway. The big fella is so keen to go.

So that's what's happened for me on Sunday. It's been pretty full on and fairly busy!

And I have a calling to boot! I can't get over that one!! Should be cool I could make it all (the newsletter) look so pretty with all this Paint Shop Pro stuff I do!

Mr Grumpy!!

The big fella was in such a mood tonight. His attitude and sarcasm was just horrid. He was warned that if his behaviour wasn't up to scratch or if he did one more thing wrong that he wasn't going to Young Men's tonight. Well he did one more thing wrong and then the sh*t hit the fan!!
The mouth he has. The carry on he did. The way he spoke to me & Mark was atrocious!!

I tried so hard to prevent the big fella from running away. I asked him to go to his room. I kept my distance from him so that he would bolt! I was so frightened that he was going to leave. I had visions in my head of him taking off never to be found. All this was the last thing I needed, especially after that teenager from Narre went missing for 11 days. I was sure that boy was going to end up dead but they found him. I was scared that would be what happened to the big fella. It's not like it's the first time he's taken off. He used to do it ALL the time when we lived in Adelaide.

Eventually the big fella went into his room. I even got him to phone Br. Gilbert and talk to him to see if that made a difference but it didn't really. He was hoping Br. Gilbert would be on his side but he wasn't and that just seemed to make matters worse.

After he'd been on the phone he said I'm going to have a bath to try and calm down. I thought that was such a good idea. Time to cool off and relax. We both needed it for sure. I'm so grateful it helped. When he came out of the bathroom it was like he was a different child altogether. He even apologised. I swear I never want to feel that awful and helpless again. I never EVER want to hear him say that he wants to run away. It's to frightening to contemplate.

It's Official!!

The big fella had his assessment today to see if he has Aspergers Syndrome or not. He was given an IQ test which tests different aspects of things like spatial, verbal comprehension, short term memory, etc. Then it was my turn to be interviewed. I was asked all sorts of questions like what was he like as a child, How old was he when he walked and talked, Did he have any specific things that he had to do a certain way like what he needed to do when he goes to bed, Are there any particular foods that he is fussy with, etc .There were a stack of questions that I just cannot remember right now.

At the end of it all Sally (the psychologist) said yes he definitely fits into the Aspergers category. So it was well worth the time, money and effort of getting him there. All sorts of doors will now open for us. We will be able to get support from Autism Victoria now that we have an official diagnosis. Now GCAMHS will have to believe me when I show them the piece of paper saying that I was right!! I'm still ticked that they didn't believe me when I told them. Now they HAVE to!!

Marg (from Anglicare) is going to phone me sometime tomorrow to see how today went. I can let her know how it went. She told me not to worry about the assessment and that the psychologist will agree that he definitely has a lot of the characteristics that Aspergers children present with.

I kept thinking about Mark all day today. He had to go to Ballarat for his Grandads funeral today. He phoned me earlier to let me know how everything went. I'm so glad that he made it there safely and that everything went well. I can't believe how much I was thinking about him today and wishing that I could've been there with him to just support him. I miss him so much! You should've heard the little fella get so excited when he realised that it was Mark on the phone. I just wish Mark could've seen how his face lit up! I know that sometimes the boys don't show Mark how much they love him but it is obvious when they do things like this! I can't wait until he gets home tomorrow.

The big fella went to a Young Men's church activity tonight and they were celebrating his birthday while he is there. What a wonderful group of people we have in our ward to be able to share this with him. They have just accepted him so well and just care so much about the kids. I don't know if the big fella realises how lucky he is. I hope he does. He's sleeping over at Bro. Gilbert's place and since he doesn't have to go to school tomorrow he will be brought home around 10 a.m.

I can't believe that it's the big fellas 13th birthday tomorrow! A teenager already!! My goodness it only seems like yesterday that I brought this teeny little baby home from the hospital and I could hold him on my lap. To look at him now! OMGosh he's grown so fast! I can't believe it. He is just so big!! A real young man! My baby is growing TOO fast!! *sigh*

Not Wanted?

I don't know it seems that I am not wanted today. The little dude didn't want to come into town with me this afternoon and do some grocery shopping. Okay I guess I could live with that. The big fella came instead and he spent his pocket money that he got yesterday.

So tonight when it came for Mark to take the big fella to a Young Men's activity you'd think the little dude would want to stay home with Mum and have some quiet time .. but NO! he decided that he wanted to go along with Mark and the big fella. So here I am all by myself thinking great I'm rejected!!!! Oh I know I should be enjoying the quiet time alone watching the programs I want on tv without interruption and knitting to my hearts content. Or perhaps enjoying some quiet time on the computer but nope I don't feel like doing these things at all. I've been rejected for the evening!
Let's hope that the little dude is bored to death and will want to stay home next week!!!

Before I forget Marg from Anglicare came this afternoon while I was out with Brodie. I didn't even click that she was coming today. I'm sorry I missed her but at least she got to have a talk with Mark and got to meet the little dude. She even left us four tickets so that we can go to the movies. We're not sure which one we will go to yet. The little dude wants to see Over the Hedge but the rest of us want to see RV. So we'll see what happenss.