Enough is Enough

I've had about all I can take for today. I'm just so tired that I don't want to do anything else but the day hasn't even finished yet. I don't know how much more I can take.

This morning I woke at about 7am after a reasonably restless night. I've had trouble sleeping these past few nights. Well just over the weekend really. Too much to think about and worry about perhaps. Anyway I didn't bother going back to sleep what's the point really I had to get up and take the boys to school. We got the little dude off no problem and then it was up to the High School with the big fella for yet ANOTHER meeting this time at 9:15 a.m. We ran a little late .. I hate driving up through Jindi like I did today but there was no point going around the other way it's a waste of time and petrol. The road has too many twists and turns and is very hilly.

The AP, suggested I take a look online to find out some information about Oppositional Defiant Disorder (American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry). He was reading about it last week and he said it described the big fella really well. So when I finally made it home I checked and sure enough it does describe him to a T. So there is yet another label that we can attach to him. Something else to describe his 'behaviour'.

Oh I know that there has been no diagnosis of this but at this stage it doesn't really matter. I've had just about all I can take and I don't want ANYTHING else to go wrong. It's not like we don't have enough to contend with as it is. I still feel like I am being punished. I don't know what I did wrong but I just cannot take it any more. While at the school I was also informed that the big fella is to be picked up at 12:50 each day. (Yippee more travelling!!!! ~ that adds another 250 km at least to our weekly travels!!)

So today I went up there to collect him at the time I was told to only to be informed that he has 'hurt' his ankle and that he told the teachers that he wanted them to phone me so that I can get crutches for him. Well of course I don't have the money to get them. I have barely enough money to put food on the table this week. In fact I spent all of the $70 we had on groceries after I collected the big fella. Anyway the big fella abused me for not getting the crutches and started yelling at me and telling me that he would rather stay at school! Well HELLO!! They don't want you there in the afternoons MISTER!! So you have to come home!! He tried to make a huge fuss in front of some kids that where there so I just told him straight out that the school doesn't want him there and he has to get into the car. Well if looks could kill I would be dead!! We left the school and I went grocery shopping and the big fella sat on his butt in the car and left everything to me. Needless to say that when we got home I was not a happy camper! I told him off for being lazy and faking his sore ankle. He put weight on it and could walk about. If you've sprained it you can't put any pressure on it. I know I've sprained one of my ankles before!!

Oh great I look at the clock and I have to go out AGAIN in a few minutes. This time to collect the little dude. I swear I am going to HATE driving soon. It have become such a chore when it shouldn't be! I would love nothing more than to sit on the couch and curl up with a book or pretend to watch t.v. but that wont happen! When I get home I'll have to start doing something about dinner among other things. I just want this day to end already!!

Tonight is meant to be family home evening but I don't even know if we are going to do that either. Mark is asleep at the moment. He's been asleep nearly all day so I don't know if he is up to sitting at the table tonight or not. I'm in such a grump I am likely to snap at the kids and I don't want to do that. I'm not even in the mood for FHE. Who knows what the little dude will be like .. probably fine until he gets home and the big fella abuses him like he usually does.

I've been thinking about our finances and to tell you the truth it is giving me a headache. We've done a budget that we showed the Bishop last week and it needs to be amended with extras added in more detail so that the Bishop can see where we need some assistance. Mark hasn't been up to doing it. Well not today at least but it need to be done before tomorrow afternoon when we have to go to the chapel for the big fellas Young Men's activity, which for the moment is basketball practise. They have a game coming up this Saturday. We need to finalise the details for that too. I don't even know if Mark will be able to drive Brodie there tomorrow night or not yet. If he isn't able to I'll have to do it and I hate driving at night. Not only that but we need to measure the front window that the big fella smashed. To be honest I hate asking for charity. It means that I am unable to provide for my family. Things have just been so hard I don't know how we are going to manage at all.

Gosh I've lost my train of thought .. the big fella interrupted me .. not that it matters really. I need to get off this thing and get ready to collect the little dude from school. MORE travelling .. just GREAT!!

STOP the world. I want to get OFF!!! I can't take any more!!