The Boys Father

While we were visiting my Dad I got a phone call from the boys father, Victor. I almost fell off my chair when I realised it was him. We had been in Adelaide for about a day or so when he phoned. Mid you sending him a letter telling him when we were coming to South Australia for a holiday certainly helped. He told me that he was organising his bus ticket from Whyalla to Adelaide and would it be possible for us to pick him up at the Elizabeth train station & take him to his brother Bill's home. I thought wow, sure, I can do that since you are (finally) making the effort to come and see your own sons!

So on Tuesday afternoon he phoned us to say that he was at the train station and could we please come and get him. The boys walked right up to him and he didn't recognise them at all. It wasn't until Brodie said Hello Vic that he finally realised that these boys were HIS kids. I was surprised to note that he didn't recognise them even though I had sent him their most recent school photos so that he would know how much they had grown. Oh well, I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised really.

I know it was nice for Vic to finally catch up with the boys BUT .. he has to realise that he shouldn't be trying to crack jokes and think that everything is all hunky dory just because he made the boys laugh. In some ways I think that Vic thought things would be like they used to be between him & the boys before he disappeared on us, & that they were still "buddies".

I know for a fact that Brodie is having such a hard time trying to accept Vic back in his life after a 7 year absence. I mean who wouldn't have a hard time trying to get to know someone after such a long time apart. Brodie even told him on the phone that he didn't want to call him Dad any more because he hadn't been in their lives for so long. Brodie heard Vic swear at Bill saying that the little f**ker didn't want to call him Dad anymore. Of course when I confronted him about it he denied it but why would Brodie lie about it?

Angus told me that even though Vic is his Dad he doesn't particularly like how he was treated while we visited with him & his Uncle Bill. Vic spent more time talking to Brodie trying to be buddies with him. Angus said he felt left out. Not a very good thing to happen especially when you are meant to be mending a broken relationship.

At one stage Brodie wanted to punch Vic. Of course he didn't, I wouldn't let him .. he saved that for Mark instead. I'll fill you in on that story in another post. There was a lot of anger brewing in the background & I certainly felt a lot of stress from it. So much stress that my skin paid the price for it while we were away. Now that we have been back a week it is slowly settling down again.

We bought Vic a mobile phone so that the boys can keep in contact with him. Not a very expensive one but its prepaid so we wont have to worry about any phone bills. One of Vic's nieces or nephews can teach him how to put credit on. We're all on the same mobile network so the kids can use their free minutes to call him if they wish to. You should've seen Vic when we gave him the phone. He was like a little kid receiving a Christmas present. He was practically jumping for joy. I had to laugh though he said he would keep it a secret from his brother, Dave, but I don't think he will. He was so excited that he would tell anyone who would listen that he had a mobile phone.

At least the boys can call him now and speak with him if they wish. It's better than the system we were using before when we would try and catch his cousin at home who would then pass on a message to him that we had called. Vic would then phone to say he was at his cousins and then we would call him back.

While we were there Mark spent some time alone with Vic. Having a heart to heart chat. Dad to Dad. Whatever Mark said to Vic must have been good as Vic told me that he has a lot of time for Mark & that he is doing a good job with the boys. It feels kind of weird that my ex-hubby approves of my 'new' man. Not that I needed his approval.

Any way lets see how things go with their father now. I hope that their relationship can grow and become a bit stronger than it is right now.