Well we got an interesting call today, a "Computer Company" (and I use the term lightly) called to let us know that our computer was reporting to them that we had a problem that was affecting our firewall...
In a heavy indian accent the conversation went something along these lines (paraphrasing)
(Unknown Computer Company) UCC
UCC.. Good afternoon I am ringing to let you know that our system is reporting that your computer has some problems that are causing problems with your firewall.
Me.. Oh really what sort of problems ?
UCC.. Well your computer may have a virus that is changing your firewall.
Me.. Okay how do I find out whats wrong.
UCC.. Could you go to your computer and turn it on and I will help you through the process
Me.. My computer is already on and I am sitting at it now.
UCC.. Thats good, Could you start by clicking on "My Computer" icon on your desktop.
Me.. I dont have a "My Computer" icon on my desktop
UCC.. You Don't ? well thats okay could you click on your start button in the bottom left corner for me then.
Me.. I don't have a start button in the lower left corner
UCC.. Thats okay, just click on the start button on the taskbar, you may have moved it
Me.. I do not have a taskbar..
UCC.. (getting confused now) Well what icons do you have on your desktop ?
Me.. I do not have any icons on my desktop.
UCC.. What version of windows are you running ?
Me.. I am running "X"
UCC.. Oh so you are running Windows XP then !
Me.. Umm No I am running "X" windows on top of Linux.
UCC.. (Really uncertain about now) Well could you just right click on the desktop and then select "My Computer"
Me.. Okay I right clicked and it doesn't show "My Computer"
UCC.. Okay hold on I will get my supervisor to help you.
Me.. Okay no problems
(I wait a few moments)
UCC.. Hello Sir you seem to be having some problems, did you understand what is wrong with your computer.
Me.. Well your associate said that a virus or something has broken my firewall.
UCC.. Yes that is correct our agent has reported that your computer is infected and would like to help you fix it.
Me.. Okay so what do you want me to do then.
UCC.. Please could you click on the "My computer" icon
Me.. As I said to the other guy I don't have a My Computer Icon, I don't have a task bar and My computer does not show up when I right click on the desktop.
UCC.. Well how do you run programs then ?
Me.. I press <ALT> F2 and type in the name of the program
UCC.. What version of windows are you running
Me.. I am not running Windows.
UCC What do you mean ?
Me.. I am not running windows of any kind I am running Linux
UCC.. Linux ? What is Linux ?
Me.. Linux is an operating system like Windows or Mac OS
UCC.. So your are running a Mac ?
Me.. No I run Linux on this computer and I also run Linux on my firewall.
UCC.. What is the name of the firewall software you run on your computer ?
Me.. I don't run firewall software on my personal computer I have a appliance based firewall on the network between the net and our computers. It is called Smoothwall
UCC.. Oh so you have more then one computer ?
Me.. Yes we have a few computers on the network
UCC.. Okay well the windows one is the one you are having problems with
Me.. I dont run windows I run Linux or Android on our network
UCC.. What is Linux ?
Me.. You are meant to be a computer company and you don't know what Linux is.. I think this is a scam of some sort.
UCC.. Oh no Sir this is not a scam, our agent reported that the IP number you used at some time had problems, but it must have been while someone else was using this IP number.
Me.. Well your agent is wrong, I have a permanent IP number allocated to this network so if your agent reported it it must be wrong, I still think this is a scam, what is the name of your business so I can take this further ?
UCC.. Beeep.......Beeep.........Beeep.......
9 comments:
LOL
I despise all the scammers out there. What kills me is the fact that sometimes we know more than the so called "experts" who are the support. Everytime I call my service provider to tell them something is wrong I then have to tell them how to fix the shit too. Drives me insane.
Wow!! That's informative!! Thanks for the warning!
Thanks for posting this Mark :) I am so glad that you answered the phone when they rang.
WOW! Good thing you didn't have Windows what-cha-ma-call-it!!! O_0 That could have really been a problem!...I never answer anyone's questions that call ME! If I didn't call YOU about a problem, then I don't have a problem!! LOL
l live in New England of Nth West NSW, Oz..A close friend here had exactly the same type of call a couple days ago..Almost identical conversation as yr s... SO they are out thee.. Best Wishes, Pam .. New England, NSW, OZ..
Pam, it was probably the same person who phones your friend. It pays to be careful.
That was great! Thanks for the laugh.
Awesome! I have to tweet this. I am currently doing Information Security and we talk about this a lot. But your answers were classic.
Kat, I think Mark did a great job with this :)
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