Stuff .. .. ..

Oh man I have such a hard time trying to get things straight in my head right now. I can think it but I can't seem to be able to express it verbally.

Why do I find the weekends the most difficult time of the week??? Sometimes I just HATE it so much. I feel more stressed now than I do during the week. Why should the weekend be any different for the boys either? They seem to be at each other more and more. The insults, the arguing and just the general way they talk with each other drives me insane. Let alone the way that the big fella talks to me. All I can think is if I had spoken that to Mum or Dad I would've copped a huge hiding and I would've been sent to my room. However I don't recall ever being disrespectful to my parents. That's not to say I wasn't I just don't remember if I did or not.

I'm still having problems with the way I am thinking. Although I do feel a bit better than I did the other day or should I say last weekend. I think I need to revisit my affirmations and remember that there are good things. I'm having such a hard time with this.

Just before dinner Mark and I were talking about church and how relevant the talks during Sacrament were. In fact the talks were about prayer and Mark was only talking with me about it the other day. I am NOT good at saying them at all, especially out loud. I can't even seem to be able to say one before we eat dinner, not that we do that regularly anyway. I've even forgotten the one that Diva sent to me .. see I can't even get that right, I accidentally deleted the email!! Mark believes that I should say them so I can set an example for the boys but I feel that I am unable to do that yet. I know this is a cop out but he can do that for me right now.

I'm going to try and get the boys ready for bed and to get them to prepare their lunches for school tomorrow. I'm so glad that the big fella will be back at school tomorrow. It's been awfully difficult having him home for most of the week. Well maybe not difficult just different. I truly hope that he behaves this week. I don't know what I'll do if I get another phone call saying that I need to collect him because he has misbehaved again. Perhaps I shouldn't think like this but I still dread it when the phone rings during the day.

I have so much more I could write about but I don't think I am ready to put it into words just yet. I'll see how I go later .. ..