Things have been so hectic at home these last few days. We've ALL been under a great deal of emotional stress. Even more than the usual holiday stress.
Where do I begin .. .. ..
Let's see .. Sunday started off as a beautiful day. We got up early and prepared to go to church. Something I hadn't done for almost two years. I'm not sure exactly why I wanted to go again but I did. We all dressed in our Sunday best and headed off to Moe. Which is about a 30 minute drive from home. Mark & the boys looked so good dressed up in their shirts & ties. They looked really handsome.
The drive was a pleasant one. In fact I drove there this time. I'm beginning to feel more and more confident about driving Lily now. We arrived at church with a few minutes to spare.
We had such a hard time the night before trying to find out the time that sacrament started. We searched the LDS sites and had no luck trying to find the information we needed. We checked the phone books both the hard copy we had and online. I was about ready to give up but Mark hadn't. Anyway on Sunday morning it was Mark who was the one who said perhaps we should leave it for this week and we should go next week instead. This time I was the one who didn't want to give up and said No we'll go today. I just had this feeling that we should go.
Once at church we went in for sacrament. I can't believe that I actually enjoyed it this time. I did NOT find it boring which is how I normally feel at times while I'm there. After sacrament we spoke to some of the Brothers and the Bishop of our ward. He was really nice. I felt so welcomed that I knew we had made the right decision to go after all. We didn't stay for Sunday school or priesthood/relief society. I didn't feel up to it neither did Mark. Also the boys hadn't taken their meds and were bouncing off walls extra hyped up.
After we left church we had Maccas. Something I don't normally eat but since it was a special day for us to I decided I would put aside my feelings & beliefs about eating maccas and just go with the flow. All was good.
Our day went really well until just after dinner, around 7 p.m. I heard a bang in the computer room like something had fallen and went rushing in to find the big fella on the floor about to have a seizure. I panicked. I called for Mark. He came in and took over so I left the room. There really isn't a lot of room where we keep the computers. Next thing I know Mark says call an ambulance which I did. Now this isn't;t the first time that the big fella has had a fit. He had two while we were on holiday in Adelaide over Christmas & he spent the night in hospital there and had a CAT scan and an EEG before we left to come home to Victoria. It's been three months since this happened and I thought we had gotten over it .. the big fella was fine!!
I know I shouldn't have panicked but all I could think of was 'NOT again! Not my baby!!'
The big fella was taken straight to A&E (the emergency room) and I followed down in the car. We had no idea if he was coming home that night or not. He was alert and starting to be back to his old self about 3 hours after the fit. The nurse who was looking after him said to me that if he is fine after 4 hours he will most likely be able to go home. I said I don't think he will make that.
The Doctor had come in to see him at about 10 pm and had only just lest the cubicle when the big fella had another seizure. So she and 3 nurses plus another doctor rushed back in to help. I knew then that there was NO WAY he was coming home after that. He was admitted to the children's ward and I wanted to make sure he was all settled in before coming home. I finally got home at about 12:40 a.m. It certainly made for a long day.
The big fella stayed in for two nights. I am sure that he was driving the nursing staff crazy. He was back to his normal self by yesterday morning. All hyped up and raring to go! Thankfully he never had any more seizures but he has now got to take Epilim (medic8.com) an anti-convulsant.
I had never been so worried about the big fella like I had been over these past few days. I was beside myself half the time trying to be strong when all I wanted to do was cry. I felt a lot better after Mark managed to track down the phone number for the Bishop from church. Well he kind of got the number .. he phoned someone who contacted him and they organized for the big fella to have a blessing. Blessings are such a wonderful thing. I knew that after the big fella received a blessing yesterday he was going to be okay. That things would be manageable.
I still feel awful about how everything has happened. I still feel that somehow it is MY fault. That there must've been something I could've done to make things better or even prevented it. I feel like I should wrap him up in cotton wool to protect him. Oh I know that none of that will help. I know that worrying over it wont do me any good but what Mum doesn't worry about her children?? I'm just glad that he is okay for now and is at home with us.
I just hope & pray that things will improve for all of us because we sure do need a break from our run of bad luck.
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