Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Shattered Dreams

Just a warning this is a LONG post .. yep it's one of THOSE posts where I have a bit of a whine about caring for a kid with Aspergers who sometimes drives me nutz!! (o_O) I know most of my blog posts show all the 'good' stuff that goes on in our Twisted House with posts of music, pets, knitting & crochet. They are my escape from reality but sometimes reality shows up and I need to share it (+_0) Today is one of those days.

this tag was made for me many years ago (~_~)

Yesterday afternoon Brodie & I travelled to Traralgon for an exit meeting at the GETT Centre. Basically it was to discuss what will Brodie do when (or if - a mother can dream can't she?) he leaves TAFE and ventures into the real world. Chris, a counsellor/teacher and Natasha, the course co-ordinator were there.

Brodz was defensive & angry right from the start. He told Natasha that he hated her as soon as the meeting started. All I could think was I've taught him better than that. Her reply was that it's not her job to make him like her she's there to make sure he hears the truth. That's what Brodie doesn't like. He hates hearing the truth about things. He gets angry, loud and usually swears a lot when he hears it if he disagrees with it or just plain doesn't want to hear it. He will also tell whomever it is to shut up and stop talking. He's heard enough. At that point he gets even LOUDER (and swears even more especially when he is at home) to try and get his point across.

Brodie was adamant that he wanted to leave TAFE. He hates being there. He said he never wanted to go there in the first place. He only went because Miss G (the special ed teacher from high school) and I wanted him to go there. He's forgotten that Richard Eisenmajer, the psychologist who specialises in Aspergers we saw a few years back, suggested he stay in TAFE until he's at least 24-25. He would be mature enough by then to venture out into the real world.

When Brodie was asked what he wanted to do if he left TAFE he replied that he would look for a job. I just about rolled my eyes and I shook my head. I had to say something. He got angry and said that he looked for a job last week! Big whoop. Going to visit where you did work placement and asking for a job then sitting back socialising is now job hunting!

When Brodie was asked what skills do you have? He had no idea. So I put it plainly. What qualifications do you have? He rattled off that he has done his RSA (Responsible Serving of Alcohol certificate), Food Handling Certificate and a Certificate II in Hospitality. They are all well and good but they are only steeping stones towards getting an apprenticeship. Employers like more qualifications these days (its just what they do these days with all these bits of paper to show how good prospective employees are). Of course you can see where this is heading can't you? Brodie got more and more defensive and even LOUDER. I had to tell him to stop raising his voice. That worked for a little while but not for long.

Brodz had been offered a position in a music course at the GETT Centre. He was given a placement without the need to audition because the teacher running it knows how good a guitarist Brodie is. How they had wondered if that was fair to the other kids if he was just 'given' a spot where they had to earn theirs. He was given it as long as he could prove that he was reliable and committed to going to ALL the sessions. Brodz only heard the words reliable and realised that he isn't always the most reliable person. He assumed that meant he was not welcomed in the course and he came home and told me that. He was such an angry kid that day. Apparently the letter that he received from the TAFE confirming his placement was either not read by him or just plain misunderstood or even completely ignored because it was from "THEM". 

Chris & Natasha saw what Brodie was like with me. How badly he spoke to me. Natasha had thought that he only spoke that way at the GETT Centre but she soon realised that was how he must speak at home too. She told Brodie that he needs to realise how much 'stuff' (I can't remember her exact words) I put up with and that he needs to learn to appreciate me more.Oh boy do I go along with that statement.

No matter what we spoke about we always ended up coming back to Brodie's original statement. He HATES it there and NO longer wants to be part of the Transition programme. Of course by then I felt like I had been banging my head against a wall for the past hour. I was teary and upset. I no longer knew what to say. I hated feeling like that. In the end Natasha said there's no point him coming back when he feels like this. That Brodie should think about what he wants to do next and let them know so that they/we can sign the appropriate forms to let him go from this course. She also said that she will get in contact with his Futures For Young Adults worker, Gwen, and let her know what's happened.

The dream I had of Brodie staying at TAFE and earning another certificate are shattered (for now). I guess I have to find a new dream for him. Just as long as he is doing something to better himself. He just can't sit at home on facebook all the time. I want him out there learning how to cope with things for when he moves out into the 'real' world. We'll just have to see what Gwen has up her sleeve and go from there.

2 comments:

PoetessWug said...

I'm so sorry you're having another struggle with Brodie. It's so tough for YOU to be the one holding the dream for him, isn't it?! :-(

Jo-anne Blossy said...

Poetess, it is hard to be the one holding on to the dreams. It can be very difficult to get him to reach the end of them too.