*SIGH* I am so tired of the yelling & swearing. When will the child learn that we are not his enemy, his underlings or something he can wipe his feet on?He thinks we are picking on him and starting the arguments. It truly doesn't take much to set him off these days. I don't know what to do any more. Every strategy we have ever tried is no longer seems to be working. I don't know whether it is his Aspergers or the fact that he is being a teenage dirtbag!!
Do you know what set him off this morning? Angus mentioned Brodie's guitar. It was in the boot and Angus wanted it moved over so that he could fit his school bag & laptop in there. Brodie started swearing at him.
I mentioned to Brodie that he doesn't study music at school any more. He went off at me. He had dropped the subject last year because there was a possibility that there would be NO music teacher at the school this year. There is one but he no longer has music as a subject at school. Brodie had been asked to play in the school band so he wants to practise at school but he still has no formal lessons. He didn't care. He just saw my statement as 'starting' on him.
I should have just shut my mouth. He starts swearing and raising his voice. All while I am driving to the bus stop. He sits right behind me when I drive so I have no idea if he is going to grab me or not. He has done it before.
He starts saying all these mean and hurtful things. How he wishes Mark was no longer around. How he wants to leave home only he has no where to go, that's what he has said for the past few days. We've had this conversation before about his leaving. I told him he could go but he needs to learn life skills in order to survive. To cook, to clean, do shopping, fill out forms, pay bills/rent etc
Brodie thinks moving out will fix his problems. Its only changing the geography, the problems are still there.
Right now he sees us as the enemy and wishes us gone from his life. He has respite this weekend and is probably pissed off with me for letting him go. Its my birthday tomorrow, not that I wanted to advertise it or anything, but I feel that I need him to have a break from home at this moment in time. We need a break from each other. He probably sees this as me alienating him, not wanting him, not loving him.
I take the respite whenever I can get it. We had none over the Summer holidays and now that school is back we only have respite once a month. I don't decide on the dates. Interchange does. They are the providers. There is only one drawback with this. He is only eligible to participate until he turns 18. It's his birthday in July. Then what will we do? If he has his way he will be long gone by then.
I just feel so lost right now. Now where is that darned box of tissues....
7 comments:
Oh, sweetie, how I wish I could say or do something that would help you. I'm so glad you feel comfortable sharing your life and feelings here and hope you will continue to do so. Getting those things out helps a lot. And just knowing there are people out here listening and hurting along with you might help, too. I hope so. You and your family will be in my prayers. ((hugs))
Thank you Beverly. You're right even just putting it out there in a blog post helps. Who knows there might be someone out there in the same boat that I am in and maybe, just maybe they might read this and know that they aren't alone.
17 year old sons can be quite challenging (I have one). We had a meltdown ourselves earlier this week and are just now getting back on tender footing. Hang in there and enjoy the break. I hope you have a peaceful birthday tomorrow.
Sending hugs. Hang in there, things will get better. Maybe he is just being a teenager?
Also, don't be afraid to ask for help. There are lots of services out there. Once he turns 18 there may be another service - ask around, and don't feel guilty about needing a break - it's really important.
I find as the kids go through different stages, I had to reassess everything, like parenting styles and learning programs.
Thanks Sheila. Meltdowns kind of clear the air for a while don't they. They usually have a bit of a honeymoon period afterwards but you need to get over that tenderfoot hurdle first.
Thanks Kat. you're right there probably are some other doors yet to open. I know of one place where he will be able to go but he isn't that keen on going there at the moment. He thinks the teens that go there aren't intelligent enough for him.
I am hoping that he is just being an obnoxious teen. I was thinking of phoning Commonwealth carers again. I haven't been in contact with them for a while. Considering we no longer get respite help from our local shire (they only want him to have a male carer & there isn't one available) I should probably get onto them sooner rather than later.
I am so sorry to hear that Brodie is still having such a hard time...and giving you all such a hard time. :-( Maybe he will get a little bit of a change of focus by the time he comes back from Respite...I hope so, for everybody's sake! That's such a tough way to have to start and end every day...My thoughts are with you. Sending a big (((hug))) too!
Thank you Poetess.
I am sure that Brodie will be a (slightly) different kid when he comes back :)
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