Marked phoned his Mum tonight, which I thought was a wonderful thing for him to do, but while he was on the phone I had this awful feeling run through me. I don't know what it was. Whether it was jealousy or not or maybe just envy, more likely to be envy, that he still has him Mum to talk to and I don't. I know it's silly my Mum has been gone for over 6 years now and I should be getting used to the idea of her not being about but perhaps I'm not.
Does anyone ever get used to losing a parent? Does anyone want to get used to it? To be honest I doubt it. Who would want to feel that way? Would that make you less human to think that way? Are you less caring or thoughtful? Oh there are way too many questions and not enough answers. I don't expect answers and I doubt I will ever get the answers to these questions either. But I'll ask them just the same.
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