Have I done something wrong??

What a week it's been and its only Wednesday!
I feel like I have been through a huge battle of some kind .. maybe its just a mind overload!!

Yesterday I received my second phone call (in two days) from the High School where Brodie attends. They needed to inform me of some of the bad decisions he has been making in regards to disrupting classes, showing off, bad language and general horrid behaviour. We arranged for me to travel up to the school this morning to see one of the Yr 7 Co-ordinators so that we can discuss some strategies and the kinds of behaviours he has shown in the past, like things that have worked or haven't worked for him.
I am so glad that I got to go up to the school. The co-ordinator - Dibber as the kids call him - was very nice. Listened carefully and spoke of the things that they are willing to do for the big dude! One thing was he would like to put the fear of God into him. To show him how unpleasant it will be for him if he continues to 'break' the rules. I thought that was a good idea.
They also phoned the Primary school this afternoon to discuss strategies that helped Brodie while he was there. I sure do hope that it was helpful. Anything to get this boy back on the straight and narrow!!!

I've had a lot of time to think today. Most of the things I thought about were all of the things that went wrong in Primary School. The hard times we've had. Oh I know I shouldn't dwell on past mistakes or problems but how are we meant to learn if we don't. The trouble is it makes me think its ALL my fault regardless of whether it was or not. I feel like I am personally responsible for everything. Oh I know it's not me that has made the bad decisions in the Primary School or at the High School but I still feel responsible in some way for how he is reacting or acting up right NOW!! I know it was HIS decision to have the potty mouth, HIS decision to call out and disrupt the class, HIS decision to make the teacher lose valuable teaching time & HIS decision to be a prat!!
I am just so worried about what is going to happen when he gets older. Will he get into the wrong crowd? Will he get into more trouble? Will he (God forbid) end up in prison like one of his uncles? It truly scares me. Right now all I want to do is cry my eyes out. Perhaps it might do him some good to see Mum crying and finding out that she is like this because she is so worried about him.

I know that some of this behaviour could be from Brodie's Aspergers or from the impulsiveness of the ADHD. I have no idea if it is just him testing the new situation he is in and checking out his boundaries. I just have no idea at all. But whatever it is I sure do hope that we can get to the bottom of this and turn Brodie's behaviour around. He is only one step away from being suspended ... and here it is only the third week back for the new school year!