He Had Something To Talk About

Brodie had his first public speaking engagement yesterday. It's part of that Ambassador's Program he and I did earlier this year. He went to a Secondary College in Traralgon and spoke with some of the Yr 12 kids and their parents.

Brodz was desperate for me to join him but I wasn't invited to this one although I guess I could have gone there if I wanted too. I thought it would be good for him to be able to have a go at his talk without me being there. He needs to be a bit more grown up and he needs to be able to do things without his Mum in tow. That's my thinking and I'm sticking with it. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I don't like speaking in big groups either (+_+)

Anyway, Brodie was very excited about the fact that he DID his talk. He was told by one of the parents that he definitely had their attention and they were listening to everything he had to say. Brodz was also very excited that the audience were laughing with him when he made a few jokes. He had this HUGE smile on his face when he told me that they did NOT laugh at him at all. He really needed this confidence boost. He puts himself down ALL the time so the timing for this was very good thing.

There was one more thing Brodie was happy about. He will be receiving a cheque for $100. I bet he's already worked out what he would love to spend his money on too.

I'm just happy that there was a good outcome for this. That there is this program that allows special needs kids to talk about themselves. Something that shows the community that they aren't just a label & that they do have talents and can achieve things.

Normal Is Just A Cycle On A Washing Machine (Part 2)

If you would like to read part 1 please click HERE

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My Story (part 2)

Once Brodie got to High School that was a whole new ball game. By then Mark and I were now an item. Having Mark in the home made things better for me. I had someone else to help support me. Of course Brodie rebelled a bit. I think that knowing Mark since Brodie was 7 had helped a lot at this stage. He's grown up with him as a role model.

High School was hard. Even though I had told the school that Brodie had Aspergers and ADHD they didn't seen to understand. Some of the teachers made it a nightmare. Brodie was constantly getting suspended. Year 8 and 9 were the years from hell** as far as I was concerned. Brodie spent more time at home from being suspended than he did at school. One teacher in particular seemed to go out of his way to pick on Brodie. At least it felt like it at the time. It didn't help that some of the kids knew exactly what buttons to push with Brodie to get him started on some silly idea or to get him so annoyed he acted out. These kids didn't seem to get punished at all but Brodie did.

I was upset all the time and extremely stressed. I was so distressed one time while I was visiting the Primary school where Angus still went that the Principal asked if it was okay that he contacted Anglicare on my behalf. I thought it couldn't hurt. It was probably one of the best things we could have ever done. We had a fantastic case worker called Marg. Marg was part of Anglicare's Family Support program. She attended school meetings with me to make sure that I was heard. That Brodie was heard. Marg was our advocate. Anglicare even paid for Brodie to be 'officially' be tested and given a diagnosis of Aspergers. Our paediatricians word wasn't enough without the piece of paper to back it up.

Finally things started happening again. They were turning around and improving. That piece of paper opened new doors for us. New services were made available. We had help from a Travelling Teacher from Mansfield Autism Statewide Services. She observed classes in school and at home. She gave us suggestions that might help us out. Provided the school wanted to implement them. Anything to make life easier was good in my books.

We were in contact with GCAMHS (Gippsland Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) again and had a new case worker, Cate. She worked with Brodie and myself on a regular basis. School finally got funding for Brodie and in Year 9 he had is very own aide. I don't know if it was because of the aide, the fantastic special ed. teacher at his school or the fact that Brodie was now maturing. Maybe it was a combination of that and all the hard work we had done over the years that everything was slowly improving. Of course we had good and bad days but doesn't everyone?

During all of this horrible stuff that was happening at school I decided to take the boys back to Church. I hadn't been for years. Not since Brodie was a baby. I had tried going with the boys when we had first moved over to Victoria but it was hard. Angus refused to attend Primary classes on his own. Brodie was handful and I was constantly worried that he might misbehave. I wanted to attend so that I could make new friends but being stuck with the kids in their Sunday school classes defeated the purpose. So I gave up trying and stayed home.

Once Mark and I got together we both decided to go to back to Church. We went to the Moe ward. Where we were welcomed with open arms. I spoke with the Bishop and explained that Brodie had Aspergers and ADHD. It didn't matter. Brodie was accepted for who he was. They didn't care that he was different. The kids made friends with him. No one tried to change him. It was the first time in years that he was truly accepted. It was a relief to finally be able to go somewhere and not be judged. It felt wonderful. Brodie got to socialise. He was able to put into practise all of those skills we had worked on over the years. He was forging relationships with kids his own age. Something I never thought would happen.


After Brodie's diagnosis I cried a lot. I cried for what I thought Brodie had lost. I cried for the future that I dreamed of. I cried because he wasn't like other kids. I cried for that perfect baby that I had who was no somehow different. I grieved for what would never be.

As I now look back on things I see how much Brodie has changed. How much our family has grown because of his diagnosis. How much we have learned as a family. I see all of the things that Brodie has now achieved. I no longer see him as a person with Aspergers. Sometimes I even forget that he has it. To me he is outstanding. He has all these skills that others are jealous of. He can play guitar like a professional. He has computer skills that are amazing. I have come to realise that those dreams I had for him are still there. That he will be successful in what he wants to do with his life. That he has that family of his own that he dreams about. The dreams are still there they've just changed a little. It doesn't matter that he isn't normal. What is normal for you is not normal for me. After all that my family has been through I have learned that normal is just a cycle on a washing machine*.



* the quote is not one of my own. I read it many years ago while chatting with a friend online. It's something that has stuck in my head ever since.

** If you're interested in reading what my life was like when "the years from hell" were happening check my blog archive from 2006 - 2008. Please bear in mind that I was suffering badly from depression back then & some of my posts share my raw emotions. Back then my blog was private and only Mark, my girlfriend Traci or I read it.

Normal Is Just A Cycle On A Washing Machine (Part 1)

As part of the Ambassador Program that Brodie & I were doing we were asked to share our story. We did lots of little exercises/tasks to record all of the things we have done over the years. Things like family, school, achievements, hopes & dreams for the future that sort of thing. The thing is everyone has a story to tell. We may not think that it's much of a story but it is ours and its special.

While I was sharing my story I said the following sentence: Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine*. They (the group and its leaders/co-ordinators) loved it. They loved it so much that they are using this sentence/quote as the title of a DVD that they are making about the Ambassador Program. We were recorded during some of the sessions. The DVD will be made available for groups such as councils, carers of people with special needs who might be interested in the program and Our Stories. The participants of the group will also receive a copy. I'm not too sure that I want to be seen on a DVD so I may not watch it (but that's a whole other story!)

Here's MY STORY that I shared with the Ambassodors Program group. I have added extra info that I've remembered since I originally shared it. It's rather long but I don't apologise for it. This has helped me a lot by writing it all down. I just thank you for reading my story or at least getting as far as this paragraph (~_~)

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MY  STORY

Hi I'm Jo-anne. I'm Brodie's Mum. Well not just his mum I am me. I'm a knitter, a crocheter, a sci-fi and fantasy lover and a yarn/wool addict.

When I found out that I was pregnant with Brodie his father & I were so excited. When Brodie was born he was the perfect baby. He had all his fingers and toes. He was quiet, happy. The kind of baby you had to wake up for a feed & would go back to sleep soon after.
I had all these dreams for how his life will turn out. How well he would do in school. How one day he would get his perfect job. Meet someone special. Get married. Have a family of his own. Life was perfect. Brodie was perfect. Our little family had grown.

Although Brodie was the perfect baby things started changing as he became a toddler. He took ages to learn to sit up, to talk and to walk. My Mum said that all babies develop in their own time so I didn't worry. Brodie also had these little cute little behaviours like when he was playing with his toy cars. He would hold it by the wheel and spin it for hours. He wouldn't go outside unless he had socks and shoes on his feet. I didn't realise at the time that these were some Aspergers traits. I thought it was perfectly normal. I had nothing to compare it to especially since Brodie was my only child at the time. It wasn't until much later that I learned there is no such thing as normal. Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine.

When Brodie started school he flourished academically but socially he was lacking. I had wanted him to repeat grade 2 but the teachers said that he would fall behind academically if he remained in a younger class. So reluctantly I agreed. I had wanted him to learn and practise his social skills and to give him time to learn how to get along better with others.

Brodie's father and I split up when he was almost 8. Once this happened Brodie's behaviour became more difficult. I thought he was acting out because his father & I had split up. He was constantly ignoring me. He was getting into trouble in school and frequently running away from home. He attended the school I was working at for a while but when my boss asked me not to bring him back I was shocked and hurt. They thought he was just a naughty little boy. We had no idea that he had ADHD or Aspergers at the time.

Things were becoming very hard at home. I was working full time and had the working Mum's guilt. Both of my boys were being looked after my Mum and Dad before & after school until Mum passed away. Their father was helping for a while but the day after Christmas one year he rocked up around midnight. He was drunk and said goodbye and that he was leaving Adelaide. Eventually I ended up hating my job and detested going to work. I was extremely depressed and totally addicted to ICQ chatrooms (which is where I met my hero, Mark) My online friends begged me to see a doctor and get help. Which I did. I am so thankful to them for making me promise to go.

The stress of working full time and being a single Mum made things very hard. Talking things over with Mark and his g/f at the time I decided that it would be good for us to move interstate. Mark wanted to help me and I let him. I needed it. So we moved. We moved to a caravan park in the middle of nowhere. Surrounded by farms. Brodie had no where to run away too. I got my wish for Brodie to repeat a year at school. The Principal placed him in the same grade as other kids his age. I hoped that it would give him time to improve his social skills since he would have an extra year in primary school.

Things improved for a while. I had contacted GCAMHS (Gippsland Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services). We had been referred to them in Adelaide but we had moved before we had our first appointment. We saw a lovely lady called George. She helped us so much. We focussed on things to help Brodie succeed more in school. After working with George for a year she recommended that we see a paediatrician. She through Brodz had ADHD. So we met Michael. Within 5 minutes of meeting us Michael said that no only did Brodie have ADHD he also had Aspergers. I knew a little about it because when I was teaching one of the kids in my class was being tested and I had gone to some training workshops to learn about it. Other than what I had learned there I didn't know all that much about Aspergers.



......... to be continued .............


* the quote is not one of my own. I read it many years ago while chatting with a friend online. It's something that has stuck in my head ever since.

What A Day!

So Mum what's new in the Wug's backyard? Rory joined me at the desk when I was catching up on some blog reading :)

Boy what a busy day we had today. This morning I was at Angus's High School attending parent-teacher-student interviews. Of course Angus absolutely hates it when we attend these things. I don't know why .The majority of his teachers always say wonderful things about him. Things like: how polite he is, that he's helpful and that he's caught up with his work or is doing better than last time the teacher taught him. Of course there was the occasional comment like you need to stop chatting with your friends so much and focus on the work. Angus is such a chatterbox when he wants to be. I don't know where he gets that from. It must be his Irish side with the gift of the gab or something :D


This afternoon it was graduation time for Brodie and I. The Ambassador Program we were doing wrapped up today. We were able to invite family to join us at a Chinese restaurant to help us celebrate. I know I wont need to eat dinner tonight! We had such a lovely time. I almost didn't want to see it end.
Two of the ladies who ran the program want Brodz and I to give a  talk to a small group of students at our local TAFE. They are doing a course related to working with Special Needs kids. It wont be until next term some time. I'm kind of looking forward to sharing my story.

Brodz & I were given a book to write our story in.

I'm a bit pooped from all of the running around from today. I really would like to catch a Nanna nap before it gets too late or I may not sleep tonight. It's a good thing that school holidays started today. I have the next two weeks to have lazy mornings. Maybe a nap wont hurt after all :D