I don't know where to start with this one. We're having a few problems at home right now with the big fella. I'm just so upset I just don't know what to do.
He is such a handful right now. You should hear the way he talks to me. He is so rude and back answers all the time. You would be shocked with all of it. Just when I thought things were going much better than they had been for ages stuff goes wrong. And not just a little bit wrong they go horribly wrong.
Tonight for example, well this afternoon it started. One of the big fella's jobs is to take care of his guinea pig Claire. He refused to clean her cage and give her fresh food that I had prepared for her. He said it is his PET and that he could do what he wanted with it. He picked Claire up and almost dropped her on the ground. He then proceeded to 'move' her with his foot and I use that term loosely. I got angry with him at that stage and went outside to where the cage is for Claire. Anyway he saw me coming outside and grabbed the broom that was leaning on the wall and he threatened to hit me with it. He had it in his hands and he raised it ready to hit me. OMGosh I had visions of my brother for a moment when he did this. This was exactly what my nasty brother used to do to me. I managed to get the broom from him but I didn't make matters any better. I was so angry I smacked him. Then he had the gall to say "oh that tickled". To which I lost it even more. The big fella was screaming at me to "Piss off" among other words. Get this he even threatened Mark because Mark got angry at him for the way he spoke to me. He threatened him with calling the police and saying that Mark sexually assaulted him. OMGOSH I can't get over the fact that he even had that thought enter his head!!! How could he say that? He got this horrible idea in his head and said it ... he is one of the first kids who would say something much earlier than this if it was true but to say it out of spite because he couldn't get his own way?
I would hate to think what the little dude thought about all of this because I am sure he heard every single word.
In the end things calmed down and we were able to talk calmly inside and we came to an understanding that we were both wrong and that we would try better to get along.
Then a short time ago it started all over again. The big fella said something that was inappropriate and I told him to just go and brush his teeth. He knew that this meant that the next step after that when I get ticked off is bed. Well he flatly refused. He started carrying on exactly how he did outside. Telling me to get lost. Telling me that he would rather be someone's foster child and not live with me any more. That he would be better off without us all. That some how the Asperger Syndrome, ADHD and epilepsy was all to blame with. That he was an accident & freak and not meant to be here. I have always told the boys that they were very much wanted babies and planned. I always wanted them to know that their father and I had wanted them very much.
I just cannot stand the fact that the big fella is either threatening to phone the police, to run away or that he wants to be a foster kid in someone else's family.
He is such a handful right now. You should hear the way he talks to me. He is so rude and back answers all the time. You would be shocked with all of it. Just when I thought things were going much better than they had been for ages stuff goes wrong. And not just a little bit wrong they go horribly wrong.
Tonight for example, well this afternoon it started. One of the big fella's jobs is to take care of his guinea pig Claire. He refused to clean her cage and give her fresh food that I had prepared for her. He said it is his PET and that he could do what he wanted with it. He picked Claire up and almost dropped her on the ground. He then proceeded to 'move' her with his foot and I use that term loosely. I got angry with him at that stage and went outside to where the cage is for Claire. Anyway he saw me coming outside and grabbed the broom that was leaning on the wall and he threatened to hit me with it. He had it in his hands and he raised it ready to hit me. OMGosh I had visions of my brother for a moment when he did this. This was exactly what my nasty brother used to do to me. I managed to get the broom from him but I didn't make matters any better. I was so angry I smacked him. Then he had the gall to say "oh that tickled". To which I lost it even more. The big fella was screaming at me to "Piss off" among other words. Get this he even threatened Mark because Mark got angry at him for the way he spoke to me. He threatened him with calling the police and saying that Mark sexually assaulted him. OMGOSH I can't get over the fact that he even had that thought enter his head!!! How could he say that? He got this horrible idea in his head and said it ... he is one of the first kids who would say something much earlier than this if it was true but to say it out of spite because he couldn't get his own way?
I would hate to think what the little dude thought about all of this because I am sure he heard every single word.
In the end things calmed down and we were able to talk calmly inside and we came to an understanding that we were both wrong and that we would try better to get along.
Then a short time ago it started all over again. The big fella said something that was inappropriate and I told him to just go and brush his teeth. He knew that this meant that the next step after that when I get ticked off is bed. Well he flatly refused. He started carrying on exactly how he did outside. Telling me to get lost. Telling me that he would rather be someone's foster child and not live with me any more. That he would be better off without us all. That some how the Asperger Syndrome, ADHD and epilepsy was all to blame with. That he was an accident & freak and not meant to be here. I have always told the boys that they were very much wanted babies and planned. I always wanted them to know that their father and I had wanted them very much.
I just cannot stand the fact that the big fella is either threatening to phone the police, to run away or that he wants to be a foster kid in someone else's family.
The poor little dude was in tears tonight with the carry on that he heard. I hate seeing both my babies hurt like this.
So hear I am sitting here broken hearted trying to work out what I did wrong? I truly don't know what to think or do anymore. Where did I go wrong?? I need help and I no longer know where to start in order to make sure things turn out better.
So hear I am sitting here broken hearted trying to work out what I did wrong? I truly don't know what to think or do anymore. Where did I go wrong?? I need help and I no longer know where to start in order to make sure things turn out better.
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