Tuesday, December 31, 2013

My Emotional Rollercoaster

Since we celebrate on our Christmas on Christmas Eve we also open our presents then. It leaves Christmas Day as a day to relax and unwind doing things we love. Anyway, I felt a little put out because there was nothing under the tree for me. Mark and the boys had something but not me. Although I did receive a 7 inch tablet a few months ago and that was included as my Christmas present so I did get something just not on the day.

I had been quietly grumbling since Christmas about how my family (my Dad and sisters. I don't really know my remaining brothers all that well) in Adelaide had forgotten me by not sending Christmas cards or text messages or anything this festive season. Well, I did get a card from one sister so I shouldn't totally complain. I know my Dad has dementia (he will be 86 years old next week) and doesn't get out as much as he would like but it still hurts that I didn't get anything from him. I didn't last year either nor for my birthday this year. I should cut him some slack it's not his fault that he is forgetful.

Mark's Dad had given us some money for Christmas and I thought we could get something nice for the both of us to share but Mark spent it all on tools for his collection. At this stage I was feeling pretty bad about being left out. It's silly, right?

Feeling like this made it seem like I am totally selfish. I don't think I am a selfish person but that's how I have been feeling this past week or so. It hurt to be feeling this way and then I was kicking myself for feeling bad.

I finally mentioned something to Mark the other day as to how I had been feeling. I know it's not good to bottle up these things but I had. I almost wish I hadn't said anything because it made Mark feel awful too. It wasn't my intention though.

my pretty candle holder
Yesterday Mark nicked to the shops. I thought he was going to purchase a memory card for his camera. It was something he mentioned a couple of days ago so I assumed that was what he was going to get. I got the nicest surprise when he got home when he gave me a little Christmas bag with a pretty candle holder, some lavender scented tea-light candles and a couple of pretty ornaments for our tree. Due to how I had been feeling and with Mark surprising me like this I cried. There I was feeling awful (having my own pity party) and then he did something sweet like that. Gosh I love that husband of mine.

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