Sunday, November 18, 2012

I Need To Vent

It's still early morning and there has already been a HUGE fight in out home today. What a lovely way to start a new week. All because I asked the boys if they wanted to go to Church today. That was my first mistake. I knew Angus wouldn't go. He never goes any more. Brodie would go sometimes but said no for today because he has no clean clothes. Okay that's a reasonable excuse to not go I suppose. Not that anyone really cares about what you truly wear just as long as you look respectable and you turn up. 

The second mistake was after having my shower I asked the boys to do a couple of things. I had asked Angus to find all the coat hangers that are lying about in his bedroom. Yep no problem with that request. The problem really was the next couple of statements: Brodie next time we go to the shops you can go in and get the stuff that I want. That way I wont spend too much money. I get an mumble from Brodz. Then I said that since you two aren't going to Church I'll get you to work. 

What I said seemed innocent enough. There were no huge demands on what the boys were to do. It's not like it was a physically taxing job. I was only going to make sure that they did their usual jobs (when I wanted them to not when they wanted to do them) things like doing a little tidying up, drying the dishes, that sort of thing. The thing that really topped it off was asking Brodie to unplug his laptop charger to which he replies: I am not your f*****g slave.

You would have thought from the carry on from Brodie it was like I was asking for his first born child or for a pound of his flesh or something. My gosh no one messes with HIS laptop and HIS Facebook time! He exploded. His voice got louder and louder. Started doing that threatening stance he does. Tells me to act my age and grow up. Meanwhile, he wakes Mark up (he's only managed an hour or two of sleep at this stage) with his yelling. I'm trying to tell Brodie to pick up his laptop and go to his room. That I don't want him down this end of the house while he is like this. Basically I wanted him to go into his room to calm down. Of course he is refusing. I let him know he has two options - take the laptop to your room or go outside. Me personally, I would've just picked up the laptop and disappeared. 

Brodie is still refusing to budge either way. Screaming at me that he would love to fill up a pillowcase and bash me with it. By now Mark has come out of the bedroom. Somehow we both convince Brodie to pick up his laptop and go to the bedroom. Brodie is still saying how he wants to hurt me but that he is really controlling himself right now. He knows if he does hurt me or anyone else in our family for that matter that it will not be tolerated and that he will be removed from out home. I think he is too scared to try it even though he threatens to hurt us almost on a daily basis. I am so tired of it.

Oh and the last thing Brodie says before he goes into the bedroom. He said it to Mark but he was looking at me. Learn to control her! I didn't see Mark's face because he was standing in front of me so I can only imagine the look on his face but he was NOT impressed and told Brodie that he has had enough. He wants Brodie to move out. I don't blame him. We have all had enough of these explosions and how Brodie tries to intimidate us. Right now I don't care that Brodie currently has nowhere to go. It's not my problem. Enough is enough.

Here we go he's just come out of the bedroom begging me not to kick him out. That he has nowhere to go. Tells me if you kick me out your money will go down. I know it will but so will my rent, the electricity bill and the food bill will be less also. He then goes on about how will he get his stuff out? I have no money to pay for rent. He does have money. Brodie applied for a pensioner advance from Centrelink last week. The money is sitting in my bank account waiting for him to decide what he wants to spend it on. I told him I can transfer it to his bank for him to pay for rent somewhere. To which he replies no that is for me to buy a tablet with. I told him that it can be used for other things instead. 

Basically Brodie is scared of moving out. I know it and he knows it. He just has to learn to deal with it. We all move out of home sooner or later. It is scary for all of us being on our own for the first time. 

Right now I am fed up and feeling rather blah about things. I just wanted a nice Sunday. A day with some quiet time. A day where I could catch up with some Church friends. Maybe play some games, crochet or read. I just wanted to focus on wedding things and spend some time with the family. I may still be able to do some of those things but my heart wont quite be in it.


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